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Grass Is Greener Syndrome: How To Hack It & Come Out On Top
I know I have. Up to the point of it affecting your emotional well-being, a lot of it is just basic human nature. One of the most devastating relationships to be in is with a partner who has Grass Is Greener Syndrome.
Grass is Greener Syndrome is when someone believes what they currently have is no longer adequate, satisfying, ample, or enough.
This is generally followed by a complete lack of regard for the emotional casualties upon exit — whether that exit is physical or emotional. Plain and simple. Grass Is Greener Syndrome is more about an absence of commitment than it will ever be about a lack of relational fulfillment. If you are in a relationship with someone who has Grass Is Greener Syndrome, the best outcome is that you break up with them or they break up with you.
A lot of the time, these people will still get their needs met from you while they cheat, lie, and keep a watchful eye out for greener grass. For most people, my definition of Grass Is Greener Syndrome is not believable or easily assessable. In other words, to give anyone the time of day or to be attracted to someone who has Grass Is Greener Syndrome, you have to be as insecure and as narcissistic as they are.
I learned this the hard way. Narcissism basically boils down to making everything about you. Your partner will make everything about them — their needs and their agenda — while you make all of their disrespectful, insecurity-inducing, and selfish behavior associated with that agenda, about how YOU are somehow, not enough. Reverse narcissists are some of the kindest people you will ever meet.
They are also professional doormats. How do I know? I used to be one. I used to be very attracted to men who had Grass Is Greener Syndrome. I wanted to be the reason why he changed his ways. Doing this would also invalidate the heartbreak and insecurity that others had caused me in the past. Instead, most will try to have their cake and eat it too. With that being said, going through a breakup with someone who has Grass is Greener Syndrome is excruciating.
The only way to hack Grass Is Greener Syndrome is by setting the relational bar so high that no one else can reach that height. This is done through consistency and commitment. I try to set the bar grass is greener online dating high as I possibly can. This is why so many readers keep coming back here to the blog despite visiting other amazing sites, reading other insightful books, going to life-changing seminars, etc. I know how high the bar that I set is because I reach that height with connection, consistency, commitment, and authenticity… with all the love in my heart.
The same goes with relationships. This is called a honeymoon period and it ALWAYS fades out. Once it does, the true height of where the bar resides is grass is greener online dating yours will still be higher. You fold. You go on your way in peace. There can be room for reconciliation if your ex discovers that the grass is anything but greener.
They need to prove their commitment to you through consistent words that match consistent actions and patterns. Ultimately, you deserve someone who meets you at the bar you set. Awww…so inspiring. It really is amazing to have any self-esteem at all. Thanks for keeping me in my lane.
Natasha, you sure know how to write a life impacting blog. I tell ya what! Every article you write honestly feels like its been aimed towards my situation.
You have helped me so so much over the past 3 months, grass is greener online dating, so thank you so so so much! You give me so much confidence and inspire me. It was, is and will always be my pleasure. Thanks Dani!! This is exactly what I needed to hear at the moment. Natasha, I can never thank you enough for this blog…. after a 10 yr relationship with an emotionally unavailable man and now it seem like a grass is greener one too, I am at my 14 day standing on my white horse.
I read your posts over and over to help me stay where I am and every new post its even more enlightening of who he was and still is. Sending you BIG love. Thank you for being a part of this tribe xx. Thank you, grass is greener online dating, Natasha, for being so unapologetically you and helping us do the same!
I want to believe that every word of this is true for me and my ex and ride off into the sunset on my white horse. But 9 months later, it still HURTS. After 10 years of friendship and 5 years of what Grass is greener online dating thought was a happy relationship, he broke up with me. Two months later Grass is greener online dating found out 4 months in he started seeing his now fiancee they got engaged 6 months after meeting … and his stuff is still in my house.
I keep asking myself: Is he emotionally unavailable? I wish that I could elaborate further but I have too much to say to type it all out, not enough hands to type or hours in the day. I would also need more details. Just remember… marriage, kids, engagements are not precursors to happiness, a reformed individual OR greener grass. The link to it is on the homepage. Hi Natasha. I have read this at least five times. I have learned something new each time. I feel like it is a movie about my emotionally unavailable relationship of late.
Very painful but reading this tells me why. Very sad. Thank you for grass is greener online dating consistent and honest and brave. You have helped me in such a short amount of time and I have no doubt I will continue to benefit from your wisdom. I am still grieving but your words help. You are an angel. Thank you for talking with me and for helping to heal my spirit.
Hi Linda! I agree — it happens in both men and women and is very sad. My boyfriend of over a year broke up with me out of the blue for seemingly no reason a month ago. Grasped at straws for reasons and said he was afraid of commitment.
I know I was mostly a great girlfriend and we had a happy relationship. Thank you xxx. Hi Rebecca! You are loved, grass is greener online dating, understood empathized with, backed, believed in, supported and never, ever alone in this.
Grass is greener online dating you love soul sister. I grass is greener online dating see that I suffered from this syndrome and that I wanted more from my relationship which ended in him breaking up with me and me feeling horrible even 2 years after. You will be able to get there, I know it, grass is greener online dating. You are loved, believed in, understood and supported always. Thank you for being a part of this tribe.
You just saved my life. With that said, we as parents, have had a lot of stress as our son was diagnosed with a neurological illness at This is a man who wants his cake. After reading this —- it completely makes sense. I determine my destiny, grass is greener online dating. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. My heart is with you. I am honored to have helped in any little way. You are loved, valued, appreciated, understood, empathized with, and never, grass is greener online dating, ever alone.
Brenda, I am so sorry! I am currently going through this tough situation. Ex gf of 4 years took off out of the blue. Grass is greener syndrome is exactly what she did.
Is The Grass Greener On The Other Side?
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